That is not what I meant at all (Part IV)

For the first time in a while, I've been using my dictation software while writing notes for my next chapter. This, of course, provides ample opportunities for intriguing errors, especially where slightly technical terms are involved. Hence the following...

Mexico and illiterate patterns = metrical and alliterative patterns
bodily poll-stations = bodily pulsations
Hezbollah's dictionary point = ...whose illocutionary point

One day, I swear I will write a book about Anglo-Saxon poetics, only in order to title it "Mexico and illiterate patterns"! More of these to come, no doubt, as I continue writing.

On the same subject, I've recently bought a couple of books which have had me rolling on the floor laughing.

One is called "The Joys of Engrish" and documents the interesting English used in Japanese marketing and signs. For instance... a biohazard sign reading "It supposed to help all the people it supposed to make them happy but we got to recognize it danger"; a College schedule announcing "Very F***ing English Lesson" (without the asterisks); socks marked "Soft and Worm"; a cheese menu offering "Roguefart"; and a toilet sign: "LAVATORY: It has separated into the male and the woman. Don't mistake".
(For more, visit engrish.com, and see also fahruz.org for Flancais and other languages too...)

The other is a further offering from Private Eye, "Mediaballs 2" - while not as amusing, in my view, as the straight Colemanballs, this still has moments of brilliance. A French newspaper welcomes "Le prince Charles et Camilla Parker-Bowels"; the Liverpool Echo gives an account of a church's "Ted Deum window"; and a quiz-show contestant sincerely believes that Jesus was betrayed by his disciple, Solomon. This book is, however, most worth buying for the short but gem-like "Pseuds Corner" section devoted to birth announcements. What can you do with parents who will name their child "Mimi Magenta Poodle"?