What noise annoys an oyster?
There's a new member of the "make lots of really annoying noise" conspiracy. She disguises herself as our cleaner, but I know her true allegiance.
I must explain, as an aside, that I find the concept of having a cleaner disturbing. I've been capable of keeping my own place clean for many years. However, my College (probably correctly) believes that students are incapable of either tidiness or cleanliness, so three times a week someone comes in to clean the kitchens and bathrooms, and empty the bins. Occasionally, she also hoovers our rooms. This doesn't work for me, on many levels:
a) I still have some of my mother's socialist principles, and I figure that these workers are not being paid a particularly good wage for what they do;
b) this said, they are often also pretty useless at what they do;
c) the hoover makes my room smell like cheese (nasty cheese, not the good stuff);
d) even when I indicate that I'm busy working or sleeping (by putting my wastepaper bin outside my door - the traditional sign), she still insists on waking me up/disturbing my work in order to tell me that she's meant to clean my room. To which I always reply "thanks, but I'm busy" to which she replies "I will just clean your sink" to which I reply "no, really, I'm very busy - I'll do it myself" and then I feel guilty that I've actually just let her off doing some work. As though I'm some kind of benevolent capitalist paymaster.
Yeah. So she's the new member of the conspiracy, anyway. And once she's woken me by knocking on the door, she then proceeds to keep me awake by vacuuming every other square inch of floor in the entire building. I know, I know, I shouldn't complain that the cleaning's being done. But sadly, the vacuum cleaners have either not had new bags put in for a milennium or so, or they need replacing. So she can hoover as much as she like; it will have no effect whatsoever. Except to make me slightly mad.
The council has also changed strategy. The road-digging men have gone, but then they sent a guy in a machine to clean the pavments at 12:30 a.m. the other day, I'm not kidding. Flashing orange lights, big machiney noises, at gone midnight. And they cleverly picked the one night that week I wasn't up until 4 a.m. working.
Starting to think living out in the country would be a good option. Except The Conspiracy probably has some tame cockerel in its pay, not to mention a cow with a particularly loud moo...
I must explain, as an aside, that I find the concept of having a cleaner disturbing. I've been capable of keeping my own place clean for many years. However, my College (probably correctly) believes that students are incapable of either tidiness or cleanliness, so three times a week someone comes in to clean the kitchens and bathrooms, and empty the bins. Occasionally, she also hoovers our rooms. This doesn't work for me, on many levels:
a) I still have some of my mother's socialist principles, and I figure that these workers are not being paid a particularly good wage for what they do;
b) this said, they are often also pretty useless at what they do;
c) the hoover makes my room smell like cheese (nasty cheese, not the good stuff);
d) even when I indicate that I'm busy working or sleeping (by putting my wastepaper bin outside my door - the traditional sign), she still insists on waking me up/disturbing my work in order to tell me that she's meant to clean my room. To which I always reply "thanks, but I'm busy" to which she replies "I will just clean your sink" to which I reply "no, really, I'm very busy - I'll do it myself" and then I feel guilty that I've actually just let her off doing some work. As though I'm some kind of benevolent capitalist paymaster.
Yeah. So she's the new member of the conspiracy, anyway. And once she's woken me by knocking on the door, she then proceeds to keep me awake by vacuuming every other square inch of floor in the entire building. I know, I know, I shouldn't complain that the cleaning's being done. But sadly, the vacuum cleaners have either not had new bags put in for a milennium or so, or they need replacing. So she can hoover as much as she like; it will have no effect whatsoever. Except to make me slightly mad.
The council has also changed strategy. The road-digging men have gone, but then they sent a guy in a machine to clean the pavments at 12:30 a.m. the other day, I'm not kidding. Flashing orange lights, big machiney noises, at gone midnight. And they cleverly picked the one night that week I wasn't up until 4 a.m. working.
Starting to think living out in the country would be a good option. Except The Conspiracy probably has some tame cockerel in its pay, not to mention a cow with a particularly loud moo...
posted by EJ at 12:28 am
4 Comments:
Wow, so the cleaner's are the same everywhere then? In Stirling, they come round every weekday but Wednesday to clean up the bins, which I think is far too extravagent - who on Earth builds up a binful of rubbish in a day! The day they don't come is also the day they test the fire alarm. Sigh.
Poor you! We have fire alarm "tests" whenever my housemates decide to cook...
"Occasionally, she also hoovers our rooms. This doesn't work for me, on many levels:
a) I still have some of my mother's socialist principals"
Er, do your mum's left-wing headteachers do the hoovering, or do they not like being cleaned? And where on earth do you keep all these principals? I don't remember seeing them when I last visited.
;)
Would you believe I have two English degrees, robin? The shame, the shame!
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