Saturday, May 09, 2009

Formal apologies

The author of this blog (hereafter "The Author") wishes to make a full, unlimited, and public apology to anyone who has had the misfortune to stumble across any of her posts since the beginning of 2008. (Although thinking about it, 2007 wasn't so hot either...) The levels of self-pity and general gloom expressed therein have, as The Author now acknowledges, been wholly inappropriate and, no doubt, burdensome to the spirit of any unfortunate reader.* The Author offers in mitigation the great shock and sense of isolation she experienced when the last West Wing episode finally aired; the absolute impossibility of buying Wild Cherry Pepsi in Great Britain; the failure of every man she has met to be anything other than a) married, b) gay, or c) a complete twatface; the emotional drain of dealing with the labyrinthine administrative systems of Oxford Colleges; and the English climate.

Nonetheless, The Author accepts sole responsibility for her egregious and unfortunate behaviour, and offers a promise never again to descend to such depths in public, whether online or in person.**

The Author hopes that readers will accept her fulsome apology. She might also send them some chocolate if they ask nicely.


Flashbolt Bagman and Co., Esquires, Solicitors at Law.

* The author has, in fact, removed the more egregious of these posts to ensure your continued comfort and enjoyment.

** With the proviso that all such promises shall become null and void in the event of the next man The Author meets also being a twatface.


Blogger sjy said...

chocolate would be rather nice :)

12:10 am  

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