Ecstasy is too much pain

OK, I'm making a plea here - please, please, please will someone come and rub my neck? The chairs in the library are really hard and my back hurts a lot. Poor me. (N.B. this is only a plea to people who actually know me - no random perverts or anything, please. Unless you're Brad Pitt or, at a pinch, George Clooney, in which case I'll make the sacrifice.)

I've started learning Latin today, and made the surprising discovery that "fiduciary" doesn't mean even vaguely what I thought it meant. I now realise how deprived I've been by not having a classical education. I'm doomed to make a fool of myself with North Americans who use long words for the rest of my life. On the plus side, though, I've taken the first step towards being able to read Jerome's Vulgate all by myself. Is it sad that I'm quite excited by that thought?

Oh, yes, and Jude Law - if you're reading, you can apply for the neck-rubbing job too...